HOPE FOUND!
HOPE FOUND
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”
There was a time in my life when I couldn’t find her—that tender, deeply wounded little girl inside me. I would sit with myself, gently asking, “How are you feeling today?” and “What do you need today?” Those wounded little inner parts inside of me were accustomed to staying hidden, tucked away behind layers of fear, numbness, and self-protection because those parts of me did not feel safe.
After my own healing journey began, I understand more now…
When we have experienced emotional abandonment, childhood trauma, covert abuse, or neglect, our nervous system adapts for survival. We don’t always know we are in danger—our body and mind just shuts down. We may become a shell of ourselves.
For years, I altogether stopped feeling emotions like sadness and anger. I also stopped trusting my own instincts. I lost my voice. I started accepting pain as normal, because it’s what I had always known.
That’s how it was for me. For years, I felt like a shell of a person. I was numb and disconnected from my own life. I didn’t know when I was being abused—and more often than not, I was. But I stayed silent. I took it all in without resistance. Not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t know how else to survive. I had no words to describe what I was experiencing. And even when I tried to speak, I wasn’t believed. I was often ridiculed and shamed into silence. Eventually, I stopped trying to express myself altogether.
There were moments so dark and despairing that I began to question whether life was even worth continuing. I couldn’t feel anything—no sadness, no joy, no sense of hope. I was desperate just to feel something.
Then one day, after years of emotional shut down and hopelessness, God brought a few kind, loving women into my life. They saw how lost I was, how much I was struggling just to keep going. They knew I was trying to raise my daughter while barely holding myself together. And they stepped in. They supported me. They believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. They offered me help without judgment. They gave me grace, not shame. They extended compassion, not correction. Looking back, I now know they were moved by the Spirit of God Himself. He was working through them to nurture me back to life.
At the time, I didn’t understand what was happening to me or why I felt so broken. But over time, I began to trace my pain back to its roots. I slowly began to realize just how abusive my childhood truly was. I remember now how, six months into an intimate relationship, I began to feel even more increasingly numb. It was then that I started learning about covert narcissistic abuse. Slowly, I began to accept that what I had endured was abuse, and that I had been conditioned from childhood to tolerate and normalize it.
Acknowledging the abuse was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done—but it was also the beginning of my healing. I began to recognize the patterns. I saw how my unresolved childhood wounds had shaped the choices I made in adulthood. And I realized that my coping mechanisms—while once necessary to survive—were now keeping me from truly living.
Inner child healing became a vital part of my recovery before I knew Jesus Christ. It gave me a gentle and safe way to reconnect with my emotions, express what I had long silenced, and begin to feel again without overwhelming my nervous system. I learned how to name what I was feeling, and to do so without shame. I began to stand for what I needed in relationship, including to be heard and seen, honored and respected, and reciprocally met. Even though I was standing for what I needed though, those needs were not met. It was saddening to say the least! But at least I wasn’t staying silent anymore about what I felt was so off my whole entire life in my family and in my relationships. I was kind of a loner by this time, just me, myself and I - and my daughter, too. We were a family of 2 who believed in the power of healthy loving relating.
And then, Jesus Christ came to me!!
I had been doing the deep inner healing work for years, but nothing prepared me for what it would mean to be fully known, fully loved, and fully secured by Him. Once I encountered Jesus, I stopped needing to ask my inner child how she was doing every day—because she was no longer hiding. She was safe. She was heard. She was finally home. She was in the faithful arms of the LORD.
She began to be restored through the love of Christ.
The peace, love, and divine security I now feel in my relationship with Jesus is indescribable. He became the safe place I had always longed for—the one who never leaves, never shames, and never turns His face away. I am no longer afraid to share that truth, and I know that my healing journey was preparing me all along to walk closely with Him.
My relationship with Jesus isn’t about religion—it’s about real, daily, committed love. A kind of love that is faithful, generous, honest, present, and deeply humble. That’s what I had always hoped for in human relationships. And though I haven’t yet experienced that kind of love with a human partner, God gave me something just as powerful—He gave me a strong foundation, rooted in Him.
Now I share this message not just for me, but for you.
You can heal. You can rise. And you are not alone.
There are countless women (and men) walking out of emotional numbness, verbal silence, and hidden abuse. You don’t have to stay lost. You don’t have to live in survival mode. There is hope—and His name is Jesus.
With Him, we can rebuild.
With Him, we can feel again.
With Him, we can rise from the ashes and walk in joy and purpose.
Having a secure relationship with Christ makes our life healthy, mature, and it cultivates life-giving relationships with others over time. When trust and faith replace the fear and doubt created by the abuse and neglect, the entire foundation of life begins to solidify. That is the power of a life rooted in Jesus!
So I’m praying—for every woman reading this.
you are not alone
If you are seeking support in a safe community for your healing and growing, we warmly welcome you!
I offer 1:1 Counseling & A Program called Complete in Christ: Empowering Women to Embrace Deep Healing
Just reach out, and see if the LORD is calling you to join us.
With love,
Meisha