HEALING & RESTORING WITH GOD
Inner Healing & Healthy Loving Relating:
God’s Design for Restoration
Inner healing is a true gift from the Lord. It is not meant to be walked alone, but rather WITH God and healthy Holy Spirit led others. Every believer—especially those healing from the debilitating and devastating trauma of relational abuse, neglect, exploitation and overall dysfunction, or seasons of deep emotional battle—needs spiritual and relational support within the Body of Christ. Lasting Healing, Deliverance and Restoration requires a relationship with Jesus Christ and also a safe environment where you can be completely vulnerable, seen, safe, and deeply known. You need people who are sincerely committed to walking faithfully, lovingly, patiently, and obediently with Jesus Christ - and the ministry of healing and soul restoration. Even if there is just one other person whom you can trust to share yourself with who understands healing and deliverance, it is vital that you can finally process all of the emotions that were not safe to be expressed all of the years during the abuse. I know how hard this journey can be. I want to share with you that you are not alone…
Wherever you’ve come from and wherever you are today, God sees you and He saw you all those years. I know some of you might not believe that, but it is the TRUTH. As you embrace deep healing and deliverance you will believe it. He has seen all of the pain and tears you have shed. He has seen the sorrow, and He knows you. He is with you—whether you feel His presence or not. His love toward you is steadfast, and here in this community, you are welcome just as you are. We walk slowly with one another, learning to build trust and connection through Healthy Loving Relating and the Presence of the Lord and the Holy Spirit.
If you are in bondage to fear, doubt, numbness, exhaustion, shame, guilt, unbelief, unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, anxiety, depression, anger, or even total emotional shutdown—this ministry is a safe community and supportive place to finally be set free. You will be able to fully breathe again!
It is important that you are able to experience being loved right where you are, just as Jesus loves you. There are some people who are just not able to love you as you are right now, and that is because they are not yet set free from the spiritual bondage they are held captive to. They too, need to be held and loved by the LORD, just as they are. You are most likely the first one in your family to embrace the healing and deliverance. You are not alone, we are here with you!
Healing Requires Relationship
Many of the wounds we carry were formed in relationship—through neglect, control, manipulation, spiritual dysfunction, emotional abandonment, or harmful patterns passed from generation to generation. Because relational wounds are created in relationship, they must be healed in relationship. Relationship with Jesus Christ to begin with. We need a deep intimate healing relationship with Jesus Christ and we need to have at least one person whom we can share this journey with, as well, within the ministry of deliverance. That is why my ministry and business exists, because I needed this on my journey. God has asked me to share the hope that I found. When you finally understand and embrace healing with Jesus Christ, your precious soul will come out of hiding and finally be loved properly by God and others who are also receiving the deep love of Christ.
Healthy, safe, godly connection is not optional in inner healing—it is essential. We can experience profound emotional and spiritual restoration when we relate to one another with skill, care, authenticity, and the love of Christ.
Dysfunctional patterns have been normalized for far too long—whether in families, friendships, or even church environments. But the roots of dysfunctional relating never produce good fruit. They only create destruction—emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and relationally. What’s needed is a safe and healthy healing community that knows how inner healing and deliverance happens, so that lasting restoration can truly happen.
Fear-based and shame-based relating are tactics of the enemy. Many people don’t even realize they are entangled in these patterns. But part of your healing is learning how to discern, untangle, and step out of what is harmful—and step into the kind of love Jesus designed for you.
Healthy Loving Relating Is Possible for You
God is rebuilding His Body on a foundation of real, true, Christlike love. This means:
You can become a Healthy, Loving, Godly Communicator.
You can learn to relate powerfully in both the natural and supernatural realms.
You can develop the relational skill set needed to build healthy intimacy with God, the Holy Spirit, others, and yourself.
You can learn to face the enemy—not with fear, but with your identity and authority firmly grounded in Christ.
Even if you have walked with Jesus for many years, He is always willing to lift you out of any remaining pit of dysfunction or deception. Healing is both practical and supernatural. As Jesus transforms your heart, you simultaneously learn the practical relational skills that allow you to walk in love.
Healthy Loving can be learned.
And Jesus is eager to teach you.
The Greatest Gift Is Love
Before exploring what unhealthy relating looks like, let’s anchor ourselves in what God says love truly is.
“The greatest of these is love.” —1 Corinthians 13
Love is patient and kind.
Love is not proud, rude, or self-seeking.
Love protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres.
Love never fails.
This is the foundation God is rebuilding in you—a love that reflects Him.
What Prevents Us From Experiencing
Healthy Loving Relating?
Two major forces often block believers from healing and healthy connection:
1. Fear-Based Relating
Fear-based relating happens when relationships are motivated by anxiety, control, panic, or avoidance. It leads to patterns of people-pleasing, self-doubt, emotional shutdown, or living in survival mode.
Fear sends the message:
“You must perform, protect, or control to stay safe.”
But God says:
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear,
but of power, love, and a sound mind.” —2 Timothy 1:7
Effects of Fear-Based Relating May Include:
Anxiety, depression, chronic stress
Physical symptoms (fatigue, headaches, heart issues, fibromyalgia)
Hypervigilance or shallow breathing
People-pleasing and resentment
Emotional numbness or suppressed potential
Doubting yourself or second-guessing every decision
Feeling disconnected from God, His guidance, or His peace
Fear-based relating distracts you from God’s direction and from the miracles and transformation He wants to bring into your life.
2. Shame-Based Relating
Shame-based relating happens when connection is driven by guilt, self-condemnation, or a belief that something is inherently “wrong” with you. It causes internalized pain and the sense that you must hide your true self.
Shame sends the message:
“You are unworthy. You are bad. Stay hidden.”
But God says:
“Whoever believes in Him will not be put to shame.” —Romans 10:11
“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” —Romans 8:1
“Instead of your shame, you shall have double honor.” —Isaiah 61:7
Effects of Shame-Based Relating May Include:
Depression and anxiety
Codependency and unhealthy attachments
Avoidance of intimacy
Hiding your emotions or pretending you’re fine
Addictions or emotional numbing
Self-hatred, resentment, or bitterness
Feeling undeserving of love or goodness
Constant mental battles
Shame is one of Satan’s oldest tricks, designed to keep you stuck in cycles of pain instead of receiving the forgiveness, redemption, and identity Jesus already purchased for you.
If this article speaks to you, I want to reassure that you are not alone in this journey of HEALING, GROWING AND RISING. If you need 1:1 Support or Community to heal and rise with, we welcome you!
A Prayer for Your Healing Journey
Lord Jesus, thank You for showing me the difference between healthy and unhealthy relating. Thank You for giving me time and space to heal from the wounds of dysfunctional connection.
I acknowledge that emotions will arise on this journey, and I choose to bring each one to You. Even if I’m still learning how to express myself vulnerably, I am eager to walk this healing process with You and with the Body of Christ You have chosen for me.
I surrender my path to You more deeply now. I praise You for being with me even when I don’t feel Your presence. I praise You for healing me in Your perfect timing. I praise You for building a new life in me—a life rooted in Your image, grounded in healthy loving relating, and full of hope.
Thank You for introducing me to others who care about healing and healthy relationships. Thank You for the people You’ve destined for my journey. I love You, Jesus. I thank You, Jesus. Praise You! Amen.
If you are longing for a safe, Spirit-led place to begin or deepen your healing journey, I would love to personally walk with you. You are invited to join me for 1:1 Holy Spirit–Led Counseling & Inner Healing Support, or starting January 2025, to step into Complete in Christ, my trauma-informed and Holy Spirit–led group transformation program. Both spaces are designed to help you heal deeply, break free from old patterns, grow in emotional and spiritual maturity, restore your identity in Christ, and build a new life on the true foundation of Healthy Loving Relating. You will be mentored to enter into God’s Relationships and Purpose for your life.
You do not have to navigate this journey alone—Jesus has a path of restoration for you, and I would be honored to support you as you rise, heal, and become who God created you to be.